Restaurant Review: Brixie's, Brookfield, IL

OK. To qualify Brixie's of 'restaurant' is totally overkill. And people who know the place have probably chuckled.
It is not a restaurant.
Brixie's is a bar, pretty divey at that, that serves food. Bar food. Not gastro-pub fare, nothing elevated, elegant and refined. No. Bar Food. Fat, greasy, artery-clogging, heart-stopping, hip-fattening and fingers-dirtying.
YUM.
(At least they haven't put 'deep fried butter' on their menu yet; only in Texas. I really need to go and figure out for myself what's going on over there....there must be something in the water...)

From the outside, Brixie's look like a warehouse or a garage. Not very inviting. But don't be fooled and push the door: you'll be rewarded by the best beer selection around, nice and welcoming people, darts, pool and "The Hotter than Hell" burger that deserves by itself the trip to the 'burbs. And with them being open until 4am, there is really no reason for you not to go.

Review written on Yelp 8/25/2010:
"History of Brixie's, fine drinking establishment in the lovely town of Brookfield, IL - according to Mister Aurore L, former resident who used to haunt the locale on a regular basis between 1987 and 2005:

1 - in the beginning, the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
2 - the plot of land used to be a watering hole where bison came to quench their thirst by the thousands, even breaking the ice in the winter to achieve that purpose. 'Break ice' is actually the etymology of the name Brixie's (deformed and transformed over time. See rules of historic phonetics for more details)
3 - in 1934 a family of immigrants lost their construction business because of the economic crisis and decided to open a bar. They decided to call it Brixies to honor their past (brixies = brick + ksi - ksi being a pressure unit: kilo per square inch).
They heard later the rumors about the watering hole, and thought it was a very happy coincidence.
4 - in 1987, Mister Aurore L discovered the place. At the time it was licensed as a package goods store and had shelves and shelves of liquors and a tiny bar.
5 - M. A. L. became a regular, got drunk and sick for the first time within its walls and learned how to become a pool shark feared by the most ferocious players.
He will tell you of his exploits on occasions, when he's in the mood and doesn't feel too hungry.
(Tip: you can buy him off with fried chicken)
6 - M. A. L. took A. L. one night to meet his friends and when she wasn't impressed with it (she had some perception issues at the time), decided to cut all ties and vowed to never come back. He cried for days. Brixie's would have too - if it could have.
7 - A. L. made her debuts at the pool - under the patronage of the former hero of the place.
She totally flipped. That was a flop.

8 - M. A. L and A. L. went to Brixie's one night after hearing marvels about their burgers. They discovered much to their surprise that the place had had a face lift, and lost a couple of pool tables but had definitely gained a lot in the 'appeal' department.
Among its charms:
- a juke box
- two dartboards
- a super cool retro looking little booth in a corner
- 32 beers on tap
- more than 100 beer by the bottle!!!!!!
- late opening hours, we are talking about 4am during the weekend, 3am otherwise (kitchen hours differ)
- $8.50 for the Hotter Than Hell burger served on a pretzel bun with jalapeno slices (13 of them on mine), smoked gouda, chipotle aioli and a big, thick, juicy patty of meat. KRAZY DELISH. Perfectly cooked meat, pretzel bun - I am in paradise.
- $5.50 for make you own mac'n'cheese
- pretty dilapidated bathroom stalls - it's a must.Totally worth the trip kids.
Be a part of history, go to Brixie's!"